Oaks has often been heard around the club boasting of his ability to handle his squirt, claiming his ability to stick on the amber all night while the rest of us pussies hit the variety of postmix beverages allows him to stay the distance longer than the rest of us therefore making him a man of higher pedigree.
Handling his drink wasnt the only thing Oaks claimed this year.. he also claimed to be the fastest man over 100 yard dash, so eager was he to win this title he practised at every opportunity , one such session took place after a big night out with Bush and fellow sprinter Adam Hewitt....The back seat of the cab was the startline and bushy the start gun and when he said "GO" they all opened a cab door and bolted in differing directions, Oaks was quickly at full tilt.. Dreaming of a first place Benny could see the finish tape ahead and with one arm outstretched Usain Bolt style smashed across the line.. sadly for Ben there was no tape, only a barbed wire fence which threatened to split our opening bowler through the core.
Anyhow, I digress..
So it was somewhat of a suprise when In early March of this season when we tearfully farewelled our Irish leprechaun Stuey Poynter how his night unfolded.. after the men of the club downed numerous beers while the boys drank their vodka raspberries from the get go we headed to Mooseheads for one last rendevous for our red headed little friend.
Mooseheads being a famous setting for many a brown jacket nomination much was expected from this event... even Ajay Mehta joined us for his first night out on the town in decades.. the last time Ajay was in Civic ICBM was the Private bin, beers cost 50 cents and tongue & groove was something you did in a back alley after mindnight..
Handling his beer with great integrity for the night things were soon going to slide down a slippery path.. as the clock struck 3 oaks' mood was swinging more than his outswinger .. when out of weary eyes he spotted two Northies players.. for those in the know Oaks has more form shaping up to these lads than Lester Ellis after a bottle of scotch..
He was once seen giving Bruce Mikellson bowling advice suggesting his skills may be better suited in the Major Leagues!!
After much bravado and chest thumping between the two, club heavy weight ' Matt Wheatley' stepped inbetween to break up the scuffle. Oaks was then directed by the bouncer out the front doors and towards the taxi rank.
Arriving back at his humble abode in Casey Ben topped off the night showing us all just how to handle your grog by projectiling quicker than his short ball all over his bed linen and floor!!
Nominee no. 4 .. Is Captain Courageous!!
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